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Vissequ
05-27-2005, 11:46 AM
Hello,

I purchased EWQL SO Silver about two months ago and I am fairly new to composition. I was wondering if I could receive some feedback on a new song I made (it is a concept theme for a Star Trek Fan film).

The first part is very passive because there is going to be a spoken intro up until the fanfare.

The link is: www.connorfabiano.com/music/songs/unity_theme.mp3

Thanks,
Connor Fabiano

jralbert
05-27-2005, 12:09 PM
Hi Connor,
I'm also very new to composition, so you should take my opinions with a grain of salt, but these were my impressions:

1. The passive intro could have stood fewer cellos; they jumped up and ate the whole mix. I really enjoyed the soft brass parts, and I think orchestrating a quiet intro with just those horns would get the job done.

2. Ambience makes the mood. I have been (rightly) accused of being too cymbal-heavy in my work, but a little swell here, a little skiff there can really lend depth to the piece. Also, judicious reverb on solo instruments, especially ones that end up all alone in the upper octaves as does the brass toward the end of your piece, helps to open up the sound.

3. Write it the way they'd play it: if you play a choir like a synthesizer, they'll sound like one - and the silver choir needs to be delicately handled at the best of times to get a halfway convincing sound out of. I wouldn't instrument that choir in isolation; you could probably orchestrate just as effectively a brass arrangment of the same line that would feel more natural. Similarly, the snare strikes at the end are all played as rolls - even the individual hits. More likely the drummer would roll to a strike, then play a few strikes before rolling again.

Overall, I really enjoyed the piece - especially the rhythmic major-key march section toward the end. It's lighter-hearted than most film scores tend to be, and I think that's a good thing! Thanks for sharing your work; I hope to hear more soon!

Cheers,
Jeff

PaulJGreblick
05-27-2005, 08:03 PM
Hey, there. This is good. Can I ask your background musically?

The voicings were particularly nice in the first section, and I don't think the cellos were over-dominant at all, but I'm partial to strings, especailly when voiced well in I-IV-V type structures.

The only thing I think that would make this more "effective" (I always hesitate to use "better" because I refuse to necessarily put my own personal opinion in unless specifically stated, as with my love of the strings as above) is that if you wanted to give it a more "live-real orchestra"-type feel, you may want to work on the articulations a bit, but overall compositionally, this kicked ass for what you designed it for and I'd at least, personally, like to be kept informed of your future work.

Thanks,

- Paul

Vissequ
05-28-2005, 11:21 AM
Thank you both very much for the comments!

Can I ask your background musically?

Of course you can :)
My musical background is somewhat short. I'm a 15-year-old 10th Grade High School Student who takes private piano lessons weekly, and avidly practices independtly and studies keyboard theory. I've played piano off and on my whole life (since about 5), but I just recently (about 11 months ago) became seriously interested. That is when I started composing seriously with elements of theory, and I recently purchased Logic and EWQL a few months ago.