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BMoody326
06-27-2005, 03:36 PM
This is my 3rd demo with silver and stormdrum....I would like some feedback on the string articulations..What could i do to make them sound more convincing...The piece is called "Robot's Army"


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/7/brianmoody_music.htm

Manvel
06-27-2005, 06:33 PM
hey m8,

this sounds really nice! very nice feel to the song. I would only suggest adding more strings working together to make it realistic and full.

manvel

Nima
06-28-2005, 03:11 AM
Hi Mboody!
I'm listening to your song and I think that it sounds really good.The melody is very nice.I'm agree with Manvel that you should use more strings plus brass.

Good luck:)

tchoyy
06-28-2005, 04:00 AM
I like, but I think that your EQ is strange, actually, I listened to it with a headphone and the sound was more in my right ear than the left one.

BMoody326
06-28-2005, 04:00 PM
Thanks for all the feedback...The reason it was loud in the right more because the cello and bass were at higher dynamic than the others....i fixed it though :D ....it should sound more balanced....i also added more strings to kinda emphasize the melody.... :)

Beach
06-28-2005, 04:08 PM
Really good indeed!

I enjoy it very much!!!!!
Congrats, I agree with others that adding more strings you will achieve a PERFECT result!!!
Again, my congratulations, ;)
Roberto

BMoody326
06-28-2005, 04:22 PM
What type os strings should i add..fast staccotas or slow legato....or just more notes....I'm fresh out of ideas on what to do...i already have all the sections playing parts, with the violas playing divisi... :confused:

DaveWalton
06-28-2005, 06:36 PM
Hi,

Nicely done. One thing I notice is that the recording is very "up front" like if it was recorded by microphone that the mics were right up against the instruments. Of course that's not the case, but maybe a little more ambience would set the sound back a little and add a little more fullness.

Very nice piece and interesting to listen to.

Dave

MakeANote
06-28-2005, 07:51 PM
Hi there Brian. Quit a nice piece of work - good feeling of movement throughout the piece, doesn't seem to lag or become uninteresting.

I broke the song up into a few sections with a couple of ideas:
0.0 to 0.19
Nice, ominous introduction (F# minor carries this feel well). An idea for this section would be to drop the brass out of the first rise-fall pattern (0.00 - 0.08) and bring it in for the second (0.09 - 0.17). The percussion hits are really nice and tonally balanced - good linking of the two libraries. The lower string motif (ta te-te ta te-te ta...) is a little unbalanced (and I'm not sure if you meant this), but it sounds like the pattern is moving C# C# C# F# (to the given rhythm), instead of the fourths C# and F# together as chords. There's a few stand out notes here as well (0.02, 0.05 and 0.10) (velocity might be a little loud - but perhaps that's just a little too pedantic! ;))

Another idea for this section is maybe to introduce a low F# from (0.09) to reinforce the bass and give more emphasis to the brass figure.

0.20 to 0.56
Really nice lead in from the cymbal - a lot of force here (but doesn't seem overbearing). In the existing work there seems to be some inconsistencies in the attacks of the string parts. Particularly between 0.20 and 0.36, there is a whole range of dynamics being hit in the strings - accents, sudden drop outs and parts not really balancing - this contributes more to the reality of synthesis than authentic strings.

Your theme: C# D C# D C# D C# D F# C# D C# D C# - try to solo out this part and listen to any notes that stand out to you (to me, the top F# was a little loud, and then some of the following notes were unbalanced - maybe check the velocity values for any discrepancies.)

The rising string pattern (in minims) on the b minor chord could be louder (and better balanced) - they're lost under the thunder - and don't overlap the notes too much to over achieve the legato. Nice move to the major, but careful that some of the brass notes don't sound too fruity, one note in particular (a C# at 0.50). Maybe, since you're using StormDrum, throw in some rhythmic metal hits (it might give you more of the robotic idea). To end this section, you might consider a CC11 Fortepiano and crescendo in the brass with a similar cymbal from the start of this section - just an idea.

0.58 to end.
This is a bit weak - a nice change, just weak. The sustained D is too soft, and the undulating pattern played later is fine (D C# D C# (nice reuse of the theme)), just bring it up a bit. The percussion also doesn't quite seem right here - perhaps increase your level of reverb for more spaciousness to match the angel-ooh choir.

It's quite easy to imagine an abandoned landscape - sort of post-nuclear war feel. Good use of elements - please keep posting.

Ian

tchoyy
06-29-2005, 12:24 AM
MakeANote > I'm really impressed... :eek:

BMoody326
06-29-2005, 05:35 PM
MakeaNote thanks for the thorough anlaysis....i will defintely put your ideas into effect.... :)