Gluttony~First Draft

[RozenHeim]

This is my first time EVER posting my music up here, so play nice (don't coddle or bash). I wrote this piece a while back, and in retrospect, my old material is nothing like what I'm currently writing. Gluttony was originally written for a character a friend of mine had created. He's since dropped the concept, but I found it so fun to write for, that I'm considering going back and redoing it with HB and perhaps a spinet instead of the harpsichord that EW offers (which is ok, but it's too heavy)...

I also figured that because I'm going into college this Fall, I might as well post a little something before I lose my time to write and record. However, if Gluttony receives a good review, I might consider posting more of my material, and maybe even a few clips of my latest recordings.

http://soundcloud.com/j-t-studio/gluttonys-theme

[Dim]

I like the theme, but it's coming straight out of HP Hedwigs Theme... fat and friendly baron though nice sounds too! Post your music I'd say :-)

[RozenHeim]

Originally Posted by Dim

I like the theme, but it's coming straight out of HP Hedwigs Theme... fat and friendly baron though nice sounds too! Post your music I'd say :-)

Yes, that one measure is one of the reasons I want to revise it.

[Geocranium]

Thanks for posting your song here! It was a nice listen.

First thing I noticed, why is the tuba so biased to one ear? In my opinion the panning is much overdone. Also, it sounds like he's playing as HARD as he can for every note. Just seems a little aggressive!

About 20 or so seconds in, the high woodwind instrument takes the melody, but is soon downed out by the very loud brass. Dynamics add a lot to a piece, and this one seems rather dynamically flat. Try adding more crescendos/decrescendos to the parts.

I'm not sure if this was purposeful or not, but there's a very lacking variety of instruments. I think a fuller ensemble would make this sound much better to me, but maybe not for you. An ensemble of basses would make the oompa sound of the tuba so much more powerful and big sounding, as well as add some low-end to the mix, which this piece seems to be lacking. It's rather... thin is all.

As was already mentioned, the melody is basically a rip-off of Hedwig's Theme. You should fix that into something a tad more original.

Now don't get me wrong, I enjoyed your song. It has a nice elegant (from the harpsichord) yet clumsy (from the brass) feel to it. It just needs some improvements. I'm eager to hear an updated version.

[RozenHeim]

It's nice to know it's at least something worth commenting on!

As for the panning, just keep in mind that I worked with okay-ish speakers and headphones when I made this. If anything, the reason I panned everything was because I was trying to compensate for the lack of detail in the space in what I was hearing. Aside from that, I am planning a more baroque orchestration, and will of course, be omitting the measure were it's Hedwig's theme. I feel terrible for not noticing that when I recorded it... As for the overall dynamics of the piece, I'm considering using a bassoon and contra bassoon so I can lessen the workload for the tuba.

I'll repost it eventually, but it's not necessarily a priority compared to my newest piece.